Why do I have a blog?

Book of Manliness

2006-07-02T20:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's been a while since I've updated this. I've been lazy-busy. Anyway, I just bought "The Alphabet of Manliness" by Maddox. In case some of you don't know Maddox is the author of The Best Page in the Universe. This book is chock full of information to make even the meekest of boys into the maniliest men. Plus it just relates to life. "Mandarin is a difficult language to learn, but a useful one if you ever plan on traveling to China or the engineering department at a university." So true. It teaches us the multiple uses of asskicking... "The dropkick can be employed in situations ranging from setting a friend straight for making eye contact at a urinal to punishing children for bad grades". There is even a Theorum for lebian occurances during female wrestling. "There exists a function P defined for an erotic lesbian encounter E such that the probability of a given encounter 1>P(E)>0. That is, lesbian probability reflects how likely it is for a particular erotic event to occur." I could go on and on, and rightly should, but am defying one of man's natural urges.. to do nothing. If you're a manly man or just looking for a good read, you should get this book.

X-Men

2006-05-23T07:14:00.000-07:00

So X-Men 3 comes out on Friday. I have my tickets to a midnight showing on Thursday. It's gonna be so badass I can't wait. I found this clip last night with Colossus and Wolverine fighting a freakin' Sentinal! Anyway, yesterday went by really fast so today is going to be super slow, AHH!

Yes I'm an Ass

2006-04-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

So today, Mojo and I were bored so we went driving around in the Camaro because I got my clutch broken in and I wanted to fuck around with it. We went to Mr. Freeze to get some ice cream, and as we were leaving, this super nice red Viper pulls in. I just stop and stare, then get in the car. I start it up and this kid and his girlfriend, couldn't have been older than 17, get out. He kinda nods at me cause he noticed I was staring at the car. So I pull up next to him and smirk and ask "You pay for that?" His girlfriend giggles and all he can muster is "heh heh, shut up" Then I drove off. Damn rich kids. Where is my Viper?

Chuck Norris

2006-03-30T20:37:00.000-08:00

Chuck Norris is the new Napoleon Dynamite, except he would kick your ass. I read these facts a few months ago, and now they're getting huge. In fact, [Adult Swim] is even reviving the old 80's cartoon "Chuck Norris Karate Commandos". I saw a site that was actually anti-Chuck. I can only assume whoever wrote that site is no longer breathing. Anyway, I have a test to get some sleep for.

WTF?

2006-02-06T21:37:00.000-08:00

So someone stole my keys the other day. Who the hell steals your keys. I just wish I could figure out who did it so I could kick their kneecaps in. Spent $180 making copies of keys since I never had any copies to start with. Some people are just asses and need their asses handed to them. Believe me, I would be more than happy... assholes

Cars and school

2006-01-21T22:56:00.000-08:00

Went to the car show up in Detroit with my dad last weekend. We go every year, it's always badass, but this year blew me away. Let the muscle car wars begin! GT500 Mustang, SRT-8 Challenger, and Camaro concept. The 3 of these got me more excited than all the exotics combined, probably because I actually might be able to afford one of these someday. Give me American Muscle anyday.

It's only been 2 weeks since school went back into session and I'm already bored out of my mind. All this crazy warm weather has been driving me nuts. It just needs to be spring already, so I can pull off some Smokey and the Bandit driving with Cammie. So... ya, that's all I got to say I suppose

Hello tire

2006-01-02T21:44:00.000-08:00

So I have not been having good luck with tires at all. Two weeks ago my tire found a screw and it died. The tread was all good, but the puncture was not in the middle enough and they couldn't just patch it, so I had to throw down $100 to replace a perfectly good tire. A couple days ago I was driving home and I hear a bang, thump, thump, thump, thump. Pull over and look, inside my brand new tire is a FREAKIN WRENCH! How the hell does this happen, it's a blunt object. So I had to throw down another $100 for another new tire. Fuck this crap. All well, at least I get to keep the wrench. Most expensive wrench I've ever bought

Ninja School

2005-12-28T11:37:00.000-08:00

So last night the Natty Knights met up at Jed's to wish our friend Craig good luck and I took a couple pictures cause I don't ever take any and therefore don't have any. Anyway, Craig is venturing to a far off land called Tailand. He's doing some study abroad thing, but he's doing it at some martial arts school where all you do is train and eat some rice. He has a black belt and we've sparred a couple times and I've held my own. But when he gets back in 6 months I really don't think I'll stand much of any chance, which just isn't any fair. I like to consider myself the cock of the walk, but 6 hours a day for 6 months straight of training?? I don't have that kind of time. I have to earn money, then spend it on drinking and girl. Then there's that other thing called college. Engineering is a pain in the ass. UPS sucks ass too. Anyway, at least I didn't have to drive home 2 hours like Josh did, altho I did have to get up for work this morning. Only one day left of my coop and then I get a little break which is exciting for me, then it's back to the grind of school. I'm just looking forward to New Years cause I'm gonna get hella trashed.

Big Mac

2005-12-23T07:18:00.000-08:00

So, I had a random Big Mac craving the other day and decided to get one. As I was eating it, it hit me. Why does a Big Mac contain so much fat? There's nothing to a Big Mac, it really doesn't even deserve such a name. It's just bread and lettuce with some cheese and 2 little itty bitty beef patties and some 1000 island dressing, yes I know your secret clown and there's nothing you can do about it! Seriously tho, what is that bread made out of, because if it's a fatty sandwich, that's the only place the fat content could come out of. 1000 dressing has a little, but not that much. Maybe they're not really all that fatty afterall, or maybe it's all the fries I eat with it. I love those fries. Whoever decided to boil oil and dump food in it then consume it, is my hero. Fried anything is good. I ate some fried banana peppers at the Bunker a couple weeks ago and they were awesome. You could litterally fry anything and it would be good. Chicken, beef, shrimp, lobster (yes I ate that at Bubba Gumps), small woodland creatures, any kind of vegetable, not so sure on the tomatoes, but ice cream is good fried. Anyway, I don't know what I'm ranting about because I don't give a shit about my fat intake anyway.

Rice is dangerous to your health

2005-12-20T12:46:00.000-08:00

So we were cruising thru the parking lot at Walmart when I see a puke-green Civic. This thing had everything: big ground effects, big coffee can, big rims, and a huge wing. Dude sees someone get into their car so he stops to wait for them. He then starts to back up to give them room. We're behind him a bit and figure he sees us, but he just keeps coming. Dude gets within a couple inches of Jill's Cobalt when she finally honks the horn. He turned his head around and stopped. His wing was actually blocking his view out his rearview mirror. This is just proof that rice is dangerous to everyone around you and you should avoid it at all costs.

Food for Thought

2005-12-13T10:08:00.000-08:00

I love food. I firmly believe in the saying "the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." We had a "lunch and learn" today at work. This is where some company comes in and buys everyone food, then usually does a powerpoint to show off their products. Most of the time they have nothing to do with me, but I go anyway because I can.. and it's free food. Does this actually want me to buy the product? Does my mustache tickle girls when I kiss them? Sorry, the answer we were looking for is "only a little." Don't know why I threw that random Family Guy quote in there, but anyway I'm gonna end this rant with: I like food it is yum, I like food, give me some. I like food in my tum, I like food and your mum.

Greatest movie ever

2005-12-11T14:01:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking, if I made a movie it would involve 4 things. Ninjas, Robots-cyborgs, clones, and hot women. An army of ninjas consisting of Chuck Norris, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ray Parks (played Darth Maul), and Bruce Lee would resurrect himself to lead this army, as well as Pat Morita. The evil robot-cyborg army would consist of Darth Vader, Robo-Cop, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mr. T., Boba Fett, and lots of clones and battle droids for good measure. The bad guys would try to take over the world and the ninjas would fight them. The ensuing movie would be so awesome it would cause everyone in the theater who saw it to have seisures. Then the hot ladies would all dance and it would be a jolly good time

So you think sledding is for little kids...

2005-12-11T09:05:00.000-08:00

Then you need to get out and have some fun. I've gone sledding the past 2 nights in a row. Freaking awesome, it always is. My dad threw out all my old sleds when we moved last winter, so I bought a cheap one from Meijer and broke part of it within an hour. Someone built a little ramp on the hill, so I decided I'd try it. Bad idea. I get airborne, my sled digs into the snow and I plant my face into the snow while the rest of my body flips over my head. My neck's a bit sore this morning. Some other crazy kids find a shopping cart and put it on 2 sleds. Wow, this is just screaming pain, but we all gather around to watch these 2 kids ride it down. It got down the hill, but flipped as the hill evened out with the ground. Anyway my point is you should go sledding!

NAIAS

2005-12-08T13:05:00.000-08:00

North American International Auto Show. Only a month left and I am excited. Not only is there going to be a Dodge Challenger concept with the possibility of a 500hp Hemi engine, there's gonna be a new Camaro! It's true, I am a Mustang man, despite my owning a Z28, but the fact that I could choose which 500hp monster I want is just too awesome, as long as it's a 6-speed, automatics take all the fun out of fun cars.

Holy Seizure Batman

2005-12-07T05:05:00.000-08:00

So I played the new Budokai Tenkaichi video game over the weekend. I am a master of the last 3 Budokai's, but this is one hard mofo. The computer gets you with a combo and doesn't wait for you to get up before it does it again and again till you die. So cheap, it's exactly what I would do, but the CPU isn't supposed to do that. Gameplay is completely different from the other games. You fight from a behind view instead from the side, which makes it very hard to see at times. One the upside there are so many characters it boggles your mind. There aren't any transformations mid battle though, if you want SSJ Goku, you pick him from the list under normal Goku and you will be SSJ the whole battle, a little different. Big guys like Broly can't be knocked flying as easily, they hit harder, but are much slower so it adds to the game a bit. Overall I'd say that Budokai 3 is better, just because the controls are much more difficult in this game, but the list of characters tells me otherwise.

Long time, no post

2005-12-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

So why did I start a blog? I guess I want to be like every other nerd out there and do a journal thingy that anyone can read, altho no one will.

Anyway, it seems to me that people like to rear-end my beater cars in the snow. Last night I was coming home from Hell (UPS), sitting at the light on McCord and Hill when I get a bump. Not too bad, kind of like if you drop the clutch and the car stalls, something like that. Anyway, I pull into the Qwik-E-Mart right there and ask the chick if she was ok and yatta yatta. No damage to my bumper, go early 90's SUVs! I ask the girl if she wants to do anything, being her fault, she says she doesn't care. So I just say, ok, have a nice night, and we left. I then proceeded home and ate some Lucky Charms and worked out. Not sure how to end this, so.. That's My Momma!

Ninja?

2004-09-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

Oops. Seems that the chains holding a 100 pound body bag can only take so much as I seem to have bent the hell out of them. Gotta find my pliers now.

Blog?

2004-09-09T13:47:00.000-07:00

This isn't really what I thought it was